


What

by orphan_account



Series: Adventures of the Asswipes [1]
Category: Camp Camp (Web Series), Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel), Eddsworld - All Media Types, Minecraft (Video Game), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Except Steve and Monika, Literally everyone is dating eachother, Multi, They don't pay for dinner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:08:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26774149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: steve is in fucking smash what
Relationships: Sans (Undertale)/Steve (Minecraft)
Series: Adventures of the Asswipes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1951933
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	What

"did you hear the news?" Sans asks his gamer girl boyfriends, Tom from Eddsworld and David from Camp Camp. His other date wasn't here at the moment.

"Depends. What news, Sans?" The lovely David replied to his question, with another.

"steve is in fucking smash."

"Language! But uh, yeah. I saw the reveal trailer and I started screaming and crying on my livestream. Tom was there too, he spit out his Smirnoff." He paused for a second, then continued. "Which was good, because Smirnoff is bad for him!"

"Fucker. I did not." Tom adds to David's response.

"Language."

"you gotta show me that sometime."

"Ah. Okay." David replied.

"You will fucking not show him that."

"So... Why did you bring this topic up?" David ignores him.

"Hey, good point, David. Why did you, Sans?" Tom asks him.

"i just..." He seemed uncomfortable. "dunno... just..."

Silence.

"Do you like that little bitch or something?" Tom asks.

"no??"

"Nah, you do. Haha. Ha."

"fuck you tom."

"Language!" David protested from the sidelines.

"When and where." Tom ignores David's protests.

"oh you little bitch, shut up."

"Nah."

"fuck you i'm gonna go get myself another boyfriend."

Tom considers telling him that David and him also liked Steve, but he ended up staying quiet.

"Language!! Why do you both say so many bad words!" Does David really care _that_ much? "Yes I do, weird voice!"

"welp. i'm gonna go now."

He teleports to wherever the fuck Smash takes place. Then, enters and checks when Steve's first match would be.

...

Only 10 minutes? He should have time to get into the match then. Let's see... a team battle, huh?

Says he doesn't have a partner yet, and he's fighting Mario and Joker. Maybe there's still time to join. Hopefully.

"sakurai! can i be steve's teammate in his next round!"

"Sure."

Cool. Now he just needs to wait. And he knows exactly how to pass the time.

He pulls his laptop out of his pocket. (bro men's pockets are so fucking b ig what-)

He turns it on, and starts up Doki Doki Literature Club.

"Welcome back, Sans!"

"hey monika!"

That's right. His other date is Monika. Don't worry, David and Tom have also played DDLC, so they're all on a polyamorous relationship.

"How's your day been, dear?"

"great so far! i have a question, what's your opinion on steve, from minecraft?"

"Hmm... One second! I'm going to see who he is real quick."

. . .

. . .

. . .

"Okay! I'm done!" She says. "He seems interesting, however he's never played my game before."

"oh..."

"Why, you trying to get _another_ date?" She teased him.

"yeah..."

"Oh! Well..." She stops, thinking carefully of her choice of words. "If you like him, even if I love you, I understand, I suppose. I know you'll always love me the most so if you want... I'll let you try to date him!"

"aww... thanks monika. i was worried you would get mad."

"I'd never get mad at you, silly! I love you too much!"

"i love you too!"

"...Also, I think your match is about to start."

"oh! thank you, monika! i suppose i'll go now, see you later!"

"Bye bye!" He closed his laptop and rushed to the correct map.

...

"Oh! So you're my teammate! Sans, from Undertale, right?"

"yep. the one and only." actually that was a lie, you liar. there are hundreds of aus of you fucker.

"Nice!"

"yahoo" oh yeah mario is here.

uh, sans murders him. then steve murders joker.

cool.

"hey wanna date, steve?"

"Yeah!!"

"cool. we're dating now. wanna go get some dinner?"

"Sure."

Sans teleports them both to the really fancy diner.

"i'll be paying, steve."

"Oh! How kind!"

They take their seats.

"gosh, your eyes are so beautiful, steve~"

"Oh my! Thank you, Sans! You know, seeing your smile always cheers me up when I'm sad."

"guess i'll just have to keep smiling forever then!"

"Hehe!"

"anyways... what do you want to eat?"

"Zombie Flesh?"

"aw, anything for you! i'll just have some ketchup. waiter!"

silence.

"waiter!"

silence.

"fuck. i can't speak with uppercase letters. thus i cannot talk loudly. you mind getting the waiter for me, dear?"

"Course! Anything for you!" He smiles. God, he's so cute. "WAITER!"

Kirumi from Danganronpa sweeps her way over to their table.

"Yes, dears?"

"We'll have some Zombie Flesh and Ketchup, please."

"Sure!" She sweeps away to the kitchen.

"thanks babe!"

"No problem, you edgy fuck."

"haha!"

"Haha!"

...

"Tom? Tom? Tom? Can you hear what they're saying?"

"David, man, why are we spying on their date anyway?"

"Because I'm jealous!"

"Same but at least I don't drag my boyfriend to a diner to spy on someone's date."

"True, true."

They stop talking for a while. David, trying to figure out what they're saying and Tom wanting to die, and also sleep at the same time.

"Oh my gosh! They kissed!"

Tom jolted upwards and stared at David. "They did what."

"Look at them! Look at them! They're kissing!"

He looked, and indeed, they were kissing.

He and David stared in shock. That quick?

And suddenly, Sans' eyelights turned towards them. He turned towards them and stared back at them.

His eyelights dissapeared. Oh damn. That only happens when he's mad.

"David, David, c'mon let's get outta here-"

Sans quickly said something to Steve and then teleported to them and dragged them into a bush.

"why the fuck are you two here."

"Language...! Uh- But I just wanted to make sure everything went well...?"

"He dragged me here. I had no say in the matter." Tom added.

Sans stared at them, still with no eyelights.

"david, you're a terrible liar. why are you really here?"

"I just!- I just like him too and-"

"whoa, whoa, whoa, what?"

"I'm sorry I just really like him and-"

"Oh are revealing our crushes now? I like Steve too." Tom says. He's still bored honestly.

"oh damn..." his eyelights flicker back on, "i didn't know you liked him too."

...

Sans still hadn't come back from the restroom.

Weird. Though, who knew, not Steve. Maybe he was just on a phone call or something.

Times like this is when he wished he still had his good ol' pal Monika. ~~it's not his fault~~ ~~~~

"Your food's here!" Kirumi swept her away over with his and Sans' food.

"Thank you!"

"No problem." She sweeps away.

He looks outside. Wait, is that sans? And two other... sexy bastards? How interesting....

He gets out of his seat and uses his diamond pickaxe to mine his way out of the diner. He takes his food, and Sans' ketchup with him, though.

He sees them go into a bush so naturally, he follows and listens in.

He doesn't want to type or copy and paste the conversation again so haha.

Oh damn That's funny because he also likes them too.

"Hey I like you guys too!" He suddenly steps out of the bushes like a stalker.

"What the fuck?"

"Language!"

"steve?"

"Yep! Let's all date!"

"sure??"

"Fuck yeah."

"Language but also yay!"'

Then they left and didn't pay for their food.


End file.
